As we grow in our spiritual lives, confession may become difficult because many examinations of conscience are written for beginners, for those in the purgative stage. Although we may still fall into mortal sin if we are not watchful and dependent on grace, we may need an examination more finely tuned to the level of spirituality in which we commonly find ourselves: the illuminative or unitive stage. One of the Mothers of the Cross, [LOVE CRUCIFIED Community] has developed a beautiful examination on love. I share it here, along with some other examinations which you may find helpful.
EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE
Through
THE SIMPLE PATH TO UNION WITH GOD
Am I living the love of Christ in my daily life?
The Lord gives us a new commandment:
“Love one another as I have loved you” (Jn 13:34)
Paul teaches us how to love as Christ loves:
Love is patient
love is kind
love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude
It does not insist on its own way
it is not irritable or resentful
it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
(ICor 13:4-7)
Our Lord’s messages in The Simple Path to Union with God teach us how to grow in this Way of Love as we begin to work through and purify the situations and relationships in our lives.
“…Ponder every relationship and situation in your lives where you are not loving with Me, through Me and in Me. Ask yourselves, “Why is it so difficult to love this person or to love in these situations?” It is precisely in those situations and with those persons where you need to be purified. It is only in this way that you can become ONE with My Eucharistic life and be transformed into Love. My pure victims of love are God’s warriors for these decisive times. (9/1/14), Simple Path” #57, p.171)
I. LOVE IS PATIENT.
“The love of God will stretch your love beyond your physical capacities. The expansion of the tent of your hearts is a most painful process. You have to choose to love those most difficult to love. You must always choose love, patience, and tenderness and never give in to anger and resentment.”
“The tenderness of God was manifested through My hands. The healing grace of God was transmitted through My hands. I need you to be My hands and to transmit the healing grace of God to your spouses, children and many. It is My tenderness that heals the harshness and hardness of hearts. Radiate My tenderness through your hands.” (3/1/11), Simple Path #106
REFLECTION:
- Are my words, especially with those that I live with and work with, tender, respectful, uplifting, affirming, kind. If not why? Ask the Holy Spirit to take you to the root of your harshness.
- Am I quick to rash judgements? Does my frustration lead to angry outbursts?
II. LOVE IS KIND.
“Tenderness is the virtue in which the love in your heart is manifested through your faculties of touch, sight, and speech. God is love; therefore, here on earth, my love was experienced by many through the touch of My hands, through the gaze of My eyes, and through My words.”
“I am a living torrent of grace, which is the love of God flowing through Me.”
“When you come to possess Me, through the power of the Holy Spirit, My love flows through you. You become My living vessel; you become My hands; you become My gaze; you speak My words. This is what it means to be My living chalices and living hosts. This love is manifested concretely, tangibly, through your tenderness.”
“By being attentive to how you use your hands or fail to use your hands, how you gaze at others, and how the words flow from your lips, you will come to know the sin that remains in your hearts. My Mother is forming each of you to be My living chalices.” (1/2/12), Simple Path #105
REFLECTION:
- How did I use my hands or fail to use my hands? Is it difficult for me to show tender affection, am I pushing myself to do what is most difficult?
- Was my gaze one of criticism and judgement? Ask the Holy Spirit to pierce these spirits and make you conscious of them so that God’s light can shine through yourgaze.
- How have I spoken and how has the tone of my voice been with those I live with? If harsh, short tempered, angry, sarcastic… why
III. LOVE IS NOT ENVIOUS OR BOASTFUL OR ARROGANT OR RUDE…
Jesus tells us: “Receive the crown of glory, the crown of thorns. The King of Kings allows Himself to be crowned with the crown of thorns…
“My interior crucifixion I lived through the thorns of ingratitude, rejection, ridicule, murmurings, lies, disloyalty, unfaithfulness, deception, arrogance, pride in all its disguises… My Heart is crowned with the darkness of your sin (humanity’s). This is how I lived My Kingship on earth and it is how I continue to live My Kingship in the Eucharist, for this is Love. To share in My Kingship on earth is to share in My crown of thorns. … You must receive with greater docility, abandonment and love My thorns through the darkness in the hearts of our sons and daughters. This is the perfect participation in the life of your Beloved, the life of Love.” (11/24/13), Simple Path #75
REFLECTION:
- Did I receive the crown of thorns from Jesus — thorns of ingratitude, rejection, ridicule, murmurings, lies, disloyalty, unfaithfulness, deception, arrogance, pride, with humility and gratitude? Or did I rebel or make myself the victim?
- Do I live my life thinking that I deserve the crown of glory on earth? How was my reaction to the gift of the thorns the Lord was blessing me with?
IV. IT DOES NOT INSIST ON ITS OWN WAY.
“Abandon yourself simply by accepting all, the way that it is given to you... Give yourself completely, serving all for love of Me. The mission will move forward according to My plan and Will. You are called to be love by sacrificing yourself completely for Love. This simple abandonment in each of the circumstances of your lives that I have placed you in will produce the hidden force needed to conquer the darkness covering the earth. Abandon yourselves to love the most difficult ones closest to you. Kiss My pierced feet each morning; and set yourselves out like warriors on a mission to serve with love, patience, tenderness—be slow to anger.” (2/26/11), Simple Path #80
REFLECTION:
- Have I remained in peace with the difficulties, challenges, and tribulations in my life? If not, how have I reacted – with frustration, anger, complaining, resentment, jealousy, envy, doubt, fear – why?
- Have I come to trust in God’s love for me in ALL the circumstances of my life? Pray for this grace of abandonment and trust. Thank God for the storms and receive the blessing hidden in each storm of your life.
- Is it difficult for me to surrender my desires, opinions and will? Can I be stubborn or manipulative in attempting to get my way. Keep in mind that how we fall out of love is often not due to our impure desires, but in how we seek those good desires placed in our hearts.
- How do I continue to “insist” on my ways? Have I accepted and loved my spouse, children, co-workers, community members… the way they are?
V. IT IS NOT IRRITABLE OR RESENTFUL.
“…I am humble, pure, simple, silent, generous, forgiving, merciful, patient, and tender. I give Myself fully to the good and the bad, to the deserving and the undeserving, to those who love Me and to those that persecute Me; for when one is not obedient to the precepts of My Church, I am persecuted. I continue to love those who do not love Me. I continue to love those who use Me. I continue to love the unfaithful. I continue to love those indifferent to My love. I am left alone in the Tabernacles of the world with few who come to be with Me, to adore Me and to give Me thanks. I cry but My tears are hidden. I intercede continuously before the throne of our Father for all. My hidden life in the Eucharist is seen by Abba and blessed by Him Who sees all.” (7/5/12) Simple Path #49
REFLECTION:
1. Did I continue to give myself fully in patience, kindness and tenderness when I was treated badly, disrespectfully, harshly…?
2. Did I choose to love when I was not loved, used, ignored… by communicating with respect and tenderness and not separating myself? Do I compare and pass judgements on the motives of others according to my own preconceived biases?
3. Was I able to see beyond their exterior acts and see the condition of their hearts and suffer this with Jesus? Do I pray for the healing of those who wound me?
4. Do I carry resentments in my heart that prevent me from fully loving and forgiving others?
VI. IT DOES NOT REJOICE IN WRONGDOING.
“My daughter, a hardened heart is not able to receive the grace of God. It is not able to see the glory of God revealed before him. I, God Incarnate, was in their midst yet they were blind. My Heart was grieved to see the condition of their hearts, for I knew that not even My crucifixion would touch their hearts.
“My daughter, many are called; but it is few that respond. The act of Mary Magdalene and Peter, in which they come to Me with tears of sorrow, is necessary to pierce the hardness of the human heart steeped in sin.
“My daughter, My Heart continues to be grieved at seeing such hardness of hearts within My Church. I desire that you awaken the hearts of My sons with tears and supplications as only a mother can.” (1/14/11), Simple Path #38
REFLECTION:
- Do I live my life “wrapped in the gift of self-knowledge”? Have I grieved my sins or do I justify myself when I receive self-knowledge?
- Am I attentive to the hidden intentions of my heart: acting to be liked, admired, appreciated, loved, accepted, honored…? How were my intentions impure?
VII. IT BEARS ALL THINGS, BELIEVES ALL THINGS, HOPES ALL THINGS, ENDURES ALL THINGS…
“Only love radiates the light of God, for His light is Love. The light of Jesus Christ is love that suffers for all and with all: Love in pain and sorrow, Love that enters into the brokenness of humanity and receives her brokenness into Himself to heal and restore her in God. Love receives her wounds and bears them upon His Body to heal her with the balm of His tenderness in mercy. This is the Light of the world. This is Love, the Word Incarnate.
“Receive My wounds, the sin, brokenness and oppression of your brothers and sisters, so that you can radiate My light in the darkness. This is love. The love of the world is self-seeking and self- centered, but the love of God is self-giving. (12/31/12), Simple Path #88 p.243
REFLECTION:
- Have I taken the time in prayer to receive the wounds, sin, brokenness and oppression in my spouse, children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, parents, superiors, directors, friends, co-workers, daughters and sons-in-laws… and to suffer their brokenness with Christ as my prayer to Abba?
- Have I taken the time to enter the PURE PAIN of how the woundedness of others hurts me, others and themselves?
Only through the power of the Eucharist can we be transformed to love as Christ loves us. With Trust and patient endurance, we must allow our disorders to come to the Light to be made pure in the furnace of God’s love.
“The Eucharist is the power of God in the world. The love of God is the Eucharist and is transmitted through the Eucharist. Learn about the hidden life by contemplating My Eucharistic life. I am hidden from your human eyes but completely present. I am verbally silent, yet My soul speaks to your soul…
“…Your ordinary and hidden life through the Cross becomes united to My Eucharistic life. Your hidden life takes on the same power as My hidden life because we are no longer two but ONE. These are My living hosts. In this union of love, you enter and live in the realm of God. Through Me, with Me and in Me your most ordinary life is the power of God. Your thoughts, words, deeds, but most especially your tears and sorrows of heart, possess the power of God to bless the world. Your hidden life not seen by anyone is seen by God and, through Me, with Me and in Me, He blesses many. Your life, as ONE with My Eucharistic life, moves beyond time and space.
“Ponder My Eucharistic life with the Holy Spirit and Mary. I desire for you to help Me form many living hosts to shine the light of God and to pierce the darkness. You grow in holiness as your hidden life is lived to greater perfection in My hidden life.” (7/5/12), Simple Path #49
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SEVERAL ADDITIONAL EXAMINATIONS OF CONSCIENCE:
Examination of Conscience: LOVE. [A simple shorter examination by another Mother of the Cross, LOVE CRUCIFIED Community]
Any sin I commit is a sin against LOVE.
o I ask you, Lord, to please give me the precious gift of true
REPENTANCE for the times I have failed to LOVE…
* Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated,
Forgive me , Lord , for My impatience, especially w family members and myself
My pompous & self-righteous attitudes- everything prideful in me…
My jealousy – I pray that You pour more blessings on those who I am tempted to feel jealousy towards
My vanity and conceit- help me to have a healthy attitude towards myself. Let me not be attached or preoccupied by my own outward appearance and never judge others by theirs.
It (Love) is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
Forgive me for the times I have been rude w others, especially by not acknowledging them, by ignoring their needs, by giving up on them, by not listening carefully and thoughtfully when spoken to, for inwardly judging anyone in any way.
Forgive the many times I seek “my own plans and interests” before yours. For not seeking your will for me in “all” things, in “all” areas , and in “all” the plans I make for ea day, week, year..
For the ways that I am quick tempered and can hurt others with my abrupt comments, my sarcastic gaze, my body language and gestures.
Forgive for the many times I brood over my injuries (holding it over those who have hurt me) instead of desiring to forgive and seek reconciliation.
It (Love) does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
Forgive me for my attachment to anything that displeases You (wrongdoing, wrong attitude)
Help me to understand that what displeases You does so because it harms me. Forgive me for being enticed by “worldly” attitudes, past-times and entertainment. Forgive me for the ways I justify my inclinations by accommodating my conscience.
Forgive me for the many times I get caught up in lies to myself.
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EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE FOR VENIAL SINS
St. Anthony Mary Claret´s Examination of Venial Sins
The soul should avoid all venial sins, especially those which pave the way for grave sin. It is not enough, my soul, to have a firm resolve to suffer death rather than consent to any grave sin. It is necessary to have a like resolution to venial sin. He who does not find in himself this will, cannot have security. There is nothing which can give us such a certain security of eternal salvation as an uninterrupted cautiousness to avoid even the lightest venial sin, and a notable, all-extensive earnestness reaching to all practices of the spiritual life — earnestness in prayer, and in dealing with God; earnestness in mortification and self-denial; earnestness in being humble and in accepting contempt; earnestness in obeying and renouncing one’s own self-will; earnest love of God and neighbor. He who wants to gain this earnestness and keep it, must necessarily have the resolve to always avoid especially the following venial sins:
1. The sin of giving entrance into your heart to any unreasonable suspicion or unfair judgment against your neighbor.
2. The sin of introducing talk about another’s defects or offending charity in any other way, even lightly.
3. The sin of omitting out of laziness our spiritual practices or of performing them with voluntary neglect.
4. The sin of having a disordered affection for somebody.
5. The sin of having a vain esteem for oneself, or of taking vain satisfaction in things pertaining to us.
6. The sin of receiving the holy sacraments in a careless way, with distractions and other irreverences, and without a serious preparation.
7. Impatience, resentment, any failure to accept disappointments as coming from God’s Hand; for this puts obstacles in the way of the decrees and dispositions of Divine Providence concerning us.
8. The sin of giving ourselves an occasion that can even remotely blemish a spotless condition of holy purity.
9. The fault of advertently hiding from those who ought to learn them, one’s bad inclinations, weaknesses, and mortifications, seeking to pursue the road of virtue not under the direction of obedience, but under the guidance of one’s own whims. Note: This speaks of times when we might have worthy [spiritual] direction if we seek it, but we prefer to follow our own dim lights.
EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE by Fr. John Hardon, S.J.
If there is one part of the spiritual life that St. Ignatius stressed, it was the daily–and even twice daily–examination of conscience.
As we read the <Spiritual Exercises>, we may be overwhelmed by the minute detail of St. Ignatius’ treatment of what he calls the particular examination of conscience. At the same time, he is careful to provide, “Some Notes on Scruples.”
It is very important, therefore, that we form a clear and correct conscience. This means that we cultivate a sensitive judgment which is alert to the least offense against the Divine will and, at the same time, protect ourselves against the wiles of the evil spirit.
“The enemy,” says St. Ignatius, “considers carefully whether one has a lax or a delicate conscience. If one has a delicate conscience, the evil one seeks to make it excessively sensitive in order to disturb and upset it more easily. Thus, if he sees that one will not consent to mortal sin or venial sin, or even to the appearance of deliberate sin, since he cannot cause him to fall in a matter that appears sinful, he strives to make the soul judge that there is a sin, for example in a word or passing thought, where there is no sin” (<Spiritual Exercises>, 349).
It is valuable to reflect on this tactic of the evil spirit before we offer some practical norms for making our daily examination of conscience. Why? Because otherwise, we are liable to overlook the importance of a daily inventory of our moral conduct for fear of becoming scrupulous.
There is such a thing as growing in prudent sensitivity of conscience, without becoming a victim of the “enemy” as St. Ignatius calls him. We may set this down as a general principle, for those who are sincerely striving to do the will of God:
It is characteristic of God and His angels, when they act upon the soul, to give true
happiness and spiritual joy and to banish all the sadness and disturbances which are caused by the enemy. It is characteristic of the evil one to fight against such happiness and consolation by proposing fallacious reasonings, subtleties, and continual deceptions (Rules for Discernment of Spirits, II, 1).
What are we to conclude from this? That the more zealous we are in trying to please God, the more He will give us a deep interior peace of soul. We should suspect as a temptation from the evil one, when we find ourselves worried or anxious or disturbed, no matter how pious the source of the worry or anxiety may be.
The key to applying this principle is that, before God, I honestly want to do His will even though through weakness, I may fail to live up to my resolutions.
One basic virtue on which we should daily examine ourselves is peace of soul. We should ask ourselves, “Have I given in to worry or anxiety?” “Have I allowed myself to get discouraged?” A good practice is to pronounce the name, “Jesus,” when we find ourselves getting despondent, or say some short aspiration like, “My Jesus, I trust in you,” whenever we become dejected over something.
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PARTICULAR EXAMEN ON THE THEOLOGICAL VIRTUES
Before applying the particular examen to my own spiritual life, it is well to first ask myself, “What are the virtues that I know from experience I most need to develop?”
The reason why this question should first be answered is that no two of us are equally prone to commit the same kind of sins. Nor are we personally always tempted in the same direction. There is wisdom in first knowing enough about myself, to be able to get to the root of my own moral weakness. Otherwise, I may be ignoring what really needs attention in my spiritual life and concentrating on what is not so necessary for me at this time in my service of God.
Moreover, it would be a mistake to suppose that by attending to my moral failings, I am being “negative” in my pursuit of holiness.
On the contrary. In God’s providence, He allows us to fail in those areas in which He especially wants us to grow in virtue.
We can fail in the practice of these virtues either by commission, omission, or by tepidity, in not acting as generously as we might in responding to the grace we have received from God.
FAITH
1 Do I make an honest effort to grow in the virtue of faith by daily mental prayer on the mysteries of the faith as revealed in the life of Jesus Christ?
2. Do I make at least a short act of faith every day?
3. Do I pray daily for an increase of faith?
4. Do I ever tempt God by relying on my own strength to cope with the trials in my life?
5. Do I unnecessarily read or listen to those who oppose or belittle what I know are truths of my Catholic faith?
6, What have I done today to externally profess my faith?
7. Have I allowed human respect to keep me from giving expression to my faith?
8. Do I make a serious effort to resolve difficulties that may arise about my faith?
9. Do I ever defend my faith, prudently and charitably, when someone says something
contrary to what I know is to be believed?
10. Have I helped someone overcome a difficulty against the faith?
HOPE
1. Do I immediately say a short prayer when I find myself getting discouraged?
2. Do I daily say a short act of hope?
3. Do I dwell on my worries instead of dismissing them from my mind?
4. Do I fail in the virtue of hope by my attachment to the things of this world?
5. Do I try to see God’s providence in everything that “happens” in my life?
6. Do I try to see everything from the viewpoint of eternity?
7. Am I confident that, with God’s grace, I will be saved?
8. Do I allow myself to worry about my past life and thus weaken my hope in God’s mercy?
9. Do I try to combine every fully deliberate action with at least a momentary prayer for divine help?
10. How often today have I complained, even internally?
CHARITY
1. Have I told God today that I love Him?
2. Do I tell Jesus that I love Him with my whole heart?
3. Do I take the occasion to tell God that I love Him whenever I experience something I naturally dislike?
4. Have I capitalized on the difficulties today to tell God that I love Him just because He sent me the trial or misunderstanding?
5. Do I see God’s love for me in allowing me to prove my love for Him in the crosses He sent me today?
6. Have I seen God’s grace to prove my love for Him in every person whom I met today?
7. Have I failed in charity by speaking unkindly about others?
8. Have I dwelt on what I considered someone’s unkindness toward me today?
9. Is there someone that I consciously avoid because I dislike the person?
10.Did I try to carry on a conversation today with someone who is difficult to talk to?
11. Have I been stubborn in asserting my own will?
12. How thoughtful have I been today in doing some small favor for someone?
13. Have I allowed my mood to prevent me from being thoughtful of others today?
14. Am I given to dwelling on other people’s weaknesses or faults?
15. Have I been cheerful today in my dealings with others?
16. Do I control my uncharitable thoughts as soon as they arise in my mind?
17. Did I pray for others today?
18. Have I written any letters today?
19. Have I controlled my emotions when someone irritated me?
20. Have I performed any sacrifice today for someone?
Copyright (c) 1996 EWTN
SOUL FOOD MINISTRIES 