Here it is, 5:00 in the morning and the Holy Spirit will not let me sleep. I have been rereading once more UNDER THE GAZE OF THE FATHER—Conchita’s [Ven. Conception Cabrera de Armida’s] retreat on “mystical incarnation.” In our Love Crucified community, we refer to this grace as “living host.” Every time I read of it in Archbishop Martinez’ reflections, I wonder, “Can this be for me? Does Christ call me to this—or am I only daring to dream that this is the grace of my life?”
In Conchita’s reflection on the Third Day, she recounts how this grace gradually became the totality of her spirituality, beginning with “The Father is gazing upon you”:
“He [Jesus] tells me that in that gaze of the divine Father, the germ of the mystical incarnation was communicated to me.”
Later, in Mexico City she heard: “The Divine Word is pursuing you.” How can these graces apply to me? Conchita could hardly believe that they applied to her!
Later she explains: “Jesus explained to me that the goal of the Chain of Love should be the offering, this ongoing offering of the Divine Word to the Father in union with the Word, entirely lost in Him.” Then I thought to myself, “But that is what I do every day—it is what I live for!” In Conchita’s Diary we read also: [Jesus to Conchita] “The Word became flesh and becomes flesh again in souls only to be crucified. It is the purpose of all mystical incarnations… Your Word has just become flesh mystically in your heart… in order to be constantly sacrificed there not on an altar of stone, but in a living temple of the Holy Spirit, by a priest and victim who, by an inconceivable grace, received the power to participate in the love of the Father.” [Diary, p. 120]
In Dec. 2016, in Mexico City, as I prayed at the tomb of Conchita, meditating for several days on the mystical incarnation in her Diary, I read and reflected repeatedly:
“The mystical incarnation,’ the Lord has stated, ‘has as its object the offering of Myself in your heart, as an expiatory victim, checking at each moment divine justice and obtaining heavenly graces'” (Diary, Feb. 2, 1911) [p.160].
“’The principal object of this grace is a transformation which unites what you will to what I will, your will to Mine, your immolation to Mine. Wholly pure and sacrificed in your body and in your soul, you must offer yourself and offer Me to the heavenly Father at each instant, at each breath…[for the Church, for souls]” (Diary 160).
“This is My Body, this My Blood. I say this again to the eternal Father, at each instant, on the altars. Make yourself worthy, as much as possible, to offer your body, your blood, your soul and all that you are, as I have told you, in union with this continual immolation on behalf of the world” (Diary 160).
“The purpose of the mystical incarnation is the fusion of My life in you, according to its development on earth. ‘Be yourself…’” (Diary 161).
“I want you to be My host and have the intention, renewed as often as possible day and night, of offering yourself with Me on all the patens on earth. I want you, transformed in Me by suffering, by love and by the practice of all the virtues, to raise heavenward this cry of your soul in union with Me: ‘This is My Body, This is My Blood’” (Diary 161).
“’Be yourself,’ I told you one day, and today I tell you again: ‘Let Me come to you, and be one with Me and transform yourself through the instrumentality of My divine life in your heart. Let Me possess you, simplify you in God, in Our indivisible unity through the Holy Spirit’” (Diary 161).
“You must transform yourself into charity, that is, into Me, who am all Love, killing the old man, making with Me but one single heart, and one single will’” (Diary 160).
Here, again, in the impassioned words of Jesus himself, is the objective: “…one only Host, one only Victim, one only Priest immolating Himself and immolating Me in your heart on behalf of the whole world. The Father pleased, will receive this offering presented through the Holy Spirit, and the graces of heaven will descend as rain on the earth” (Diary 162).
Jesus told her, “Be yourself.” Although I know I am no Conchita, I thought this also. I am unique on the face of the earth, so the way that I live and breathe the mystical incarnation, as His living host, will therefore be different from the way anyone else lives it. Conchita’s intensity is of Conchita. I may be a lesser soul, [for every soul is different and unique], but I have my own spiritual intensity—my intensity is of Kathy.
How can this be? “Be yourself.” I know that the Father is gazing on me, for I read in Eph. 1:4 that “He chose me in Christ before the foundations of the world that I should be holy and blameless before him.” In Psalm 139:13, I read that He “knit me in my mother’s womb“ and that “I am fearfully, wonderfully made,” a unique creature drawn through the Divine Word from one unique time, place, culture, family, history in all the universe, [in whatever pain, weakness, suffering, or shame inherent there], distinct and particular in the gaze of the Father, an intense pinpoint of reflected light designed uniquely to glorify the Blessed Trinity as has never before me been accomplished, or ever after will be accomplished. All this—if only I can “Be myself.” In this does my intensity of holiness consist; “Be yourself,” the living host in which the Father is well pleased.
Then, seeking confirmation, [I am always seeking confirmation!] I went to The Simple Path to Union, and here I read:
#49 “Your ordinary and hidden life through the Cross becomes united to My Eucharistic life. Your hidden life takes on the same power as My hidden life because we are no longer two but ONE. These are My living hosts. In this union of love, you enter and live in the realm of God. Through Me, with Me and in Me your most ordinary life is the power of God.”
[See “The Eternal Mode of Prayer,” https://soulfoodministries.wordpress.com/2015/10/29/the-eternal-mode-of-prayer/ ]
#51 “Trust and place all your confidence in the power of the hidden life being revealed to you now in My Eucharistic presence. I am the power of the hidden life. I want to possess you with My hidden life, which is the Eucharist, transforming you into living hosts. This transformation will take place as you live your hidden and interior life united to My interior crucifixion, suffering all with Me and in Me. In this way, the power of the hidden force will intensify with the fire of the Holy Spirit…”
#52 “The Eucharist is the power of God in the world, and God desires to make you living Hosts.”
Lourdes tells us in the chapter on Living Hosts: “When a soul, filled with the Holy Spirit, is united to Jesus so profoundly as to share His sufferings and joys, in total abandonment to the Father, she is a “living host.”
Archbishop Martinez also saw that this also was required of the living host: “that a human being—priest, religious, or lay— make the “marvelous exchange” of his independent human will for the Divine Will by allowing the Holy Spirit to unite him to Jesus in all of his acts.”
Finally, I read in # 57 of Simple Path: “The purpose of the Path is to make all of you My living hosts.”
It is perfectly clear to me that my vocation is to be a Mother of the Cross in Love Crucified community, that I have been accepted by the community in this vocation, and that I have made my covenant and strive to live it daily—so I am a living host. This is my unique spirituality—in every sense of the word, in every aspect.
I meditated a long time also on these words in #57 of the Simple Path: “Allow Me to possess you with My life. Ponder every relationship and situation in your lives where you are not loving with Me, through Me and in Me.”
In the section on prophecy, I read: “Our Lord wants us to be living hosts, blessed, broken and given to many” (Simple Path, p. 172).
Yet nothing is possible without the Holy Spirit. During this Pentecost season, I have reflected so much on the Holy Spirit, struggling to be completely docile to Him, completely abandoned to Him—and not only this, but to completely sever any attachments which keep me from yielding totally to Him. Only in docility to the movements of the Holy Spirit, in conceding total control to Him, can I live Christ as His living host, loving with, through, and for Him—being “blessed, broken and given to many.”
Archbishop Martinez explains this so well, as I cited in the Rosary of the Holy Spirit:
“During these days, [these days of spiritual warfare] you should be the faithful and loving bride of the Holy Spirit. Let Him possess you without obstacles or reserve, with perfect self-abandonment and love.
Let the Holy Spirit do with you as He wills. Let Him envelop you in silence, or lull you with heavenly harmony. Let Him console or immolate you. Let Him penetrate you to the inmost recesses of your soul. Let Him fashion you as He pleases, and shake you with His powerful action, and permeate you with His victorious love.” [Under the Gaze of the Father, p. 34]
Pray with me the beginning prayer in the Rosary of the Holy Spirit:
“…we plead with You, little Dove of Conchita, Holy Spirit of the Father and of our beloved Jesus, come make your nest in our hearts. Groan, Little Dove, groan with the thirst that we be one. Come, overshadow all of us and create in us a New Pentecost. Fill us with Your precious gifts and fruits, fill us with the gaze of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the gaze of our Abba. We abandon ourselves completely to Your Divine Fire of Love.”
See also: A Simple Path to Union and “Become a Living Holocaust for His Glory”